Writing an obituary

It feels like I am expanding my writing genres– a blog, sports write-ups, and now.. an obituary. How do you write one?

It actually is not difficult thinking about my mother, her family, and what she contributed to this society, so I found myself enjoying the task while crying at the same time. I agreed with my brother’s words,” I often read rather impersonal obits and want it different for Mom”. Many times, the brevity is due to the cost of printing it. The $500 quote cost for printing it in the press seemed exorbitant, so we chose the online version with unlimited word count. He and I wrote it together, so here it is:

VandenTop, Marianne Janet (Asma), 88, passed into the loving arms of her Savior on September 9, 2019. She leaves behind her husband of 54 years, Bert, as well as daughter Michelle Tuinstra (Mitchell) of West Lafayette, IN, and son Marcel VandenTop (Hope) of Holland, Michigan. Marianne loved and faithfully prayed for her five grandchildren: Chloe, Caden, and Corey Tuinstra; Elyssa and Gavin VandenTop. She was preceded in death by her parents, Willem and Wijntje (Trompetter); sisters, Elisabeth (Kees) Groenewegen, Jacoba (Pete) DenHartigh, Gre (Piet) Visscher, and brothers Neil, John, Nick, and John. She is survived by her sister Janie (Chuck) Quist,  brother Al (Mary) Asma, and sister-in-laws, Dinah, Donna, and Nancy Asma as well as numerous nieces and nephews.

Born on September 24, 1930, in Andijk, the Netherlands, Marianne immigrated with her family to the United States in 1948 and became a United States citizen in 1955. Marianne worked as a physical therapy assistant in Kalamazoo and Grand Rapids.  She met the love of her life, Bert, via a pen pal program through the Banner, the magazine of the Christian Reformed Church. Both were immigrants from the Netherlands and they married on April 17, 1965. 

Marianne lovingly supported Bert’s work as a self-employed owner of Bert’s Electronic Shop.  She was an expert homemaker, and also shared those skills with a few other families whose houses she cleaned.  

Marianne and her husband Bert always highly valued education and encouraged their children and grandchildren in pursuing their educational goals.  She knew her Savior personally and her faith wasn’t a theoretical thing–she would say “ora et labora” meaning “pray and work”–a fitting expression for someone who worked hard all of her life.  “Just pray about it!” was a common phrase she uttered when faced with life’s challenges. 

A celebration of Marianne’s life will take place on Friday, September 13 at First Cutlerville CRC. 1425 68th Street SW, Byron Center, MI 49315.​ Visitation will take place at 11 followed by a celebration of life service at noon. A luncheon will be provided. The 2:15 burial service will conclude the day. In lieu of flowers, donations for  tuition assistance at Holland Christian or South Christian schools will honor Marianne’s appreciation for Christian education.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.