blog feed

Driving back and forth to Michigan allows time to reflect and ponder upon my mother’s dementia. How does it start? My sister-in-law and I chatted about different events we recalled. Like– what about the time when I drove my parents to DC to see my aunt and she wanted to leave the next day? What about the times when she wanted to leave our Thanksgiving dinner within hours of starting it? Were these signs??

Today, when visiting her in the rehab facility, she kept talking about getting the meat out of the oven, specifically the meat loaf. Thursday nights were always meat loaf while growing up. Does the mind go back in time like that?

Many times, I just answer her questions but often it is difficult to stifle the laughter. When she learned that Caden has a girlfriend, her question “Does he know what to do with her?” caused us to howl with laughter.

It is difficult to know if the dementia will hinder her recovery. Last night, she fell off her bed. Michigan recently passed a law against guard rails on medical beds in certain facilities. The crazy thing is that my sister-in-law, a registered nurse expressed concern about her bed last night! Thankfully, she does not have any broken bones, although her shoulder is very painful.

While at their condo today, a resident remarked,” Life is tough”, but I replied, ” But God is still good”. His faithfulness stays constant even though our health fluctuates.

This edited verse from Esther 4:14 became painfully clear as I witnessed my rapidly aging mother deal with a broken femur this past Wednesday. Being able to transport my father to the ER, helping medical personnel deal with her challenging behavior quickly validated the reasoning for this Michigan adventure. I initially drove up to Michigan to accomplish a list of tasks: interview for a teaching position, take Corey to his first soccer practice at South, see my in-laws, and end with decluttering my parents’ closets. However, everything changed when staff knocked at the door. “Your mom fell”. Rushing to the public bathroom, I found her on the tile floor with an aide by her side and my father sitting in his walker chair. Apparently, she stopped to use the rest room on the way back from lunch and stumbled. The ambulance transported her to the emergency room. My father bowed his head and started crying. It was a difficult sight.

Despite everything, she ended up having surgery the very next morning. The surgery, surprisingly short, is only part of her recovery. Rehab is the next course of action. Her dementia is also part of the challenge.

On the first night, my father announced he wanted to stay overnight at the hospital. Thinking about the possibility of him falling as well, I decided to join him. During the time together, I witnessed the incredible devotion he has for my mother. Is this devotion and faithfulness evident in me toward my husband? He wrestled with the idea of staying in his own condo the second night. Watching him get up several times during the night validated my reasoning. He needed to be in his own environment.

Feelings of guilt, frustration, and sadness battled my father during that night so it was a blessing to stay with him. Writing his feelings and focusing on gratitude allowed him to stay away from negative thoughts. Our conversation veered into past times with his parents, their brave actions during the war, and what lessons can be learned. Focusing on others is one way to help negativity lessen.

Through it all, I could see God’s faithfulness at work. The medical team, patient as ever, took such good care of my mom and did everything possible to ease her pain. My favorite memory is the meat man at Family Fare, the local grocery store, who provided me with a bag of ice for my dad’s lunch. A little bit of kindness in a time of need gives hope and encouragement.

During this time, I learned that I did not get the teaching position for which I interviewed. I do still need a job, but God is faithful and will provide.

As we begin another week, who knows how God will reveal himself again?

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

I’m glad you’re here! Check out my stories in my blog feed and subscribe to get my posts right in your inbox!

Here I am, with Mitch and Corey, ready to embark on a year long adventure in Michigan. Why Michigan, you may ask?

This adventure began with the school year, specifically August of 2018, when I know I heard God say to me, “This will be a year of pivotal change”. Indeed, it was true as the principal announced he was leaving in January, the current second grade class was the only one, and some kind of rest/sabbatical for Mitch seemed to be a focus of discussion. But where would we go? How would we deal with Corey’s schooling? What about my teaching position? Would we go overseas or not? What about our other children, college students? Would they be affected or not?

It seemed so unclear at times, but one thing was certain: to accomplish this goal, I would need to inform the school that I would not be returning the next year. This decision solved the need to figure out the third grade class because only one teacher was needed. But what about my position? Will it be there when I return? Is it fair to ask a school to do this? No, it is not and I would not do that to Lafayette Christian as I know about the unpredictability of a school budget.

As the school year drew to a close, it seemed surreal. Was I really packing up everything and possibly not returning?

Twinges of sadness filled my thoughts as I decluttered and organized my classroom for nine days. Within days, it was transformed into a new room for the next year.

Despite the twinges, I also experienced twinges of excitement. Where would I be next year? Teaching? Or something else?? God will pave the way, I kept saying.

During the month of June, Mitch, Corey, and I drove to East Lansing several times, thinking it would be our new home. However, after several attempts at house purchasing, we decided that East Lansing was not the place for us and decided upon– Grand Rapids! After more attempts at house purchasing, we decided that renting a house was a better idea. But where?

Corey, a soccer player, expressed his desire to attend a bigger high school than his previous one. That desire, coupled with our desire for a Christian high school led us right to my alma mater, South Christian! However, this proved to be another obstacle. In order for him to play, we needed to locate a home within the area of South Christian. This meant that we cannot reside in an area close to any other Christian high school. Some homes were closer to Grand Rapids Christian and it was only a tenth of a mile difference!

Persistence paid off and we located a rental within walking distance of South Christian. Thank you, God!

At times, I have seriously questioned our idea to move to Michigan for the year, but it was definitely validated when I visited my parents, living in a condo in Zeeland, Michigan. My brother has been faithfully taking care of their needs. It is time for me to increase my help, whether it is cleaning, organizing, or visiting. My mother, recently diagnosed with dementia, seems to be aging quickly. My father, in good health besides his hearing and mobility issues, needs companionship and encouragement to be active. My mother-in-law, another important person in our lives, is also battling health issues. Spending time with both sets of parents will be a priority when we settle in our new home.

As we begin this adventure, I am filled with gratefulness at how God has paved the way and know that He will continue to open doors to where He wants us to be and who He wants us to become.