It’s hard to contain my excitement! Chloe is coming home a week from today after living in Dublin for the semester. I am thrilled that she will be back in the States again!
As I scroll back through my photos, I realize again how much has occurred since she left. She will be returning to Michigan, now absent of her grandmother. Will she want to see the gravesite? Will she struggle with it being the first Christmas without my mother’s presence?
It will be a joyful reunion and I look forward to it with eager anticipation.
Receiving a Dutch chocolate letter at Christmas is one tradition we always cherish. What is it about that box containing the initial of your first name that makes Christmas extra special? Maybe it is the thought of my parents driving to the Dutch store, picking out the initials for everyone.
Because I want to be sure this tradition doesn’t end, I purchased the letters and headed to Royal Park so my father could wrap them. On the way, I felt happy thinking about wrapping presents with my father. It sounded like such a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
However, these feelings soon dissipated upon entering the room. My father, awakened from a deep nap. ” I didn’t sleep last night” he explained. ” I am so tired.” Inwardly sighing, I encouraged him. ” Come on, Dad. Let’s get out of your room and wrap these Dutch letters.” He wearily stood up and reached for his walker. About halfway, he sat down, rather unsteadily. My mind starting racing. ” Do you have a headache?” He responded that he was extremely tired. I went back for the wheelchair and wheeled him to a large table, perfect for our project. After finishing, he seemed to wake up a bit and then started asking again for the history of my mother’s passing. Referring to my photos, I explained the events since the summer. He didn’t remember any of the places where he lived , his stay in the hospital, or that he fell during the night. Tears fell when he reminisced about my mother. After a brief amount of time, he pleaded with me to take him back to his room for rest.
Heading back on M-6, the sadness of the afternoon consumed my thoughts. Thinking about my father and his fatigue worries me. Why is he still having troubles with sleep? Is it old age? It was somewhat comforting to chat with another resident at Royal Park who mentioned her sleep issues, too. But are his issues related to something else? I remembered his hospital stay. “Your father has broken heart syndrome,” the doctor explained. “It is a proven medical condition.” Is that why he is so tired?
Despite my worries, I need to continually trust in God’s perfect timing and how He constantly takes care of my father. I need to cling to His promises and remember: He is faithful.
It’s embarrassing to see how many emails I keep. It’s like I have become an email hoarder. For some reason, cleaning out my digital files is never high on my priority list. I always respond to those that need an answer but tend to keep the old ones which leads to comments by others. One teacher always commented on it, causing me to shrug. I felt like saying, “Why do you care?” but that would be rather snarky. Today, I decided that I better get rid of them.
Imagine my delight when I opened an email, dated November 2018, from my mother. Here it is:
A little extra thought from Oma.
Because of Bethlehem, I have a Savior in heaven
Christmas begins what Easter celebrates.
The child in the cradle became the King on the cross. Love Oma
It was a little Christmas present that I promptly forwarded to my brother who also viewed it as a gift. Merry Christmas, Mom.
Sending and receiving Christmas cards is one of my favorite parts about the season. There is something very special about opening one, thinking about the sender, and then placing it in the house as part of the Christmas decorations. One tradition is prayer over the Christmas card. After the holidays are over, I place the cards in a box and then we pray over each family or friend who sent the card.
This year, I helped my father send out his Christmas cards as well. He carefully wrote each one, including some kind of reference to my mother. It was strange not to see my mother’s name beside his greeting and reminded me of her absence.
Some people have given up on Christmas cards and say that Facebook is the only way to send greetings, but I disagree. Receiving and sending Christmas cards is a personal way to reconnect with friends and family.
I decided to include our family Christmas letter here rather than in the card. It is another way for us to remember this journey.
December 2019
Dear friends and family,
We want to wish you a wonderful holiday season as you celebrate Christmas and the new year- 2020. 2019 was a year of blessings despite the challenges. An acrostic poem sums it up:
M any changes occurred in our family. Chloe is spending a semester abroad in Dublin and hopes to return on December 22. Caden started his college experience as a Purdue freshman. Corey switched high schools and is attending Grand Rapids South Christian. Michelle left her teaching position at Lafayette Christian and is now a substitute teacher employed by Edustaff.
E ntertained by our labrador, Kenai, named after Kenai Peninsula in Alaska.
R ewarding times with family include Sunday dinners. Yum!
R econnecting with Michigan friends is definitely a blessing!
Y ou may be wondering what we are actually doing in Michigan. You can read about it at Michelle’s blog: chelleren.travel.blog
C hloe is a junior at Purdue, majoring in dietetics with the eventual goal of being a physician’s assistant, Caden is majoring in biochemistry with the goal of being a surgeon, and Corey, age 16, recently received his driver’s license.
Happy moment of 2019 included Caden’s high school graduation and being able to have his open house in an outside tent even though it rained buckets in the morning!
R ealized that we have been moving and decluttering since May– Michelle’s classroom, Chloe’s various apartments, Caden’s dorm, a move to MI, and many moves for my parents in various health care facilities
Incredible to see how God orchestrated this entire year so we could help Michelle’s aging parents
Sad to say goodbye to my mother on September 9 and my brother’s father-in-law on October 28
Thankful to find a rental right near South Christian High School. We love living right near the school!
Mitch’s job status is a change of duty which means that he will be at MI State for several months this year.
A dditional address– 1891 76th Street Caledonia, MI 49316– through July 2020
Saido training is something Michelle decided to do after her mom passed away. She tries to volunteer at Waterford once a week where patients with dementia receive this type of brain therapy.
At times, we marvel at how this journey evolves. But why do we? The King of the World shows His ways repeatedly. We just need to look and believe. All glory to Him.
While subbing in the different schools, I observe many students creating crafts and projects. I love seeing all the art because it reminds me how students are uniquely created in His image. At Christmas, one project that particularly stands out is the parent gift.
One fact most parents probably don’t realize is how some teachers agonize over this part of Christmas. What is the best thing to do? What will withstand time? What is an easy project that can be finished in time for Christmas? What is a craft not duplicated in other grades? The questions continue until finally one is chosen.
One of my favorite crafts is the Christmas tree craft. I somehow discovered a roll of incredible fabric in the upstairs junk room of our school. Students painted their hands to make a Christmas tree. It was a large project. We wrapped it with the butcher block paper found in the supply closet. When that fabric was used up, I decided to purchase small canvas boards to create the same project.
While cleaning out my parents’ condo, I discovered one Christmas project my mother put out every year: the Christmas candle. I still remember how she placed it in a prominent place in the house and then asked me, “Do you remember this?” Of course, I did and still do.
While subbing, I met the daughter of my kindergarten teacher. I couldn’t believe it! I had to hug her. She is a fourth grade teacher, carrying on her mom’s talents. I knew I had to have a picture with her and the candle because it needed to be included in this journey.
When I entered the fourth grade room, I had to share the moment with the fourth graders. They need to know how much moms treasure the Christmas crafts for years and years. It was another precious memory of my mother as the journey continues.
Because Mitch’s parents winter in Florida, the Tuinstra family gathers together the Saturday after Thanksgiving to celebrate an early Christmas. The advantage about celebrating early is that everyone is able to attend without the other conflicts. Somehow all forty plus people manage to find room in the Shelbyville home. Nobody leaves hungry!
Surprisingly, I felt my eyes fill with tears at various moments. I feel a sense of sadness that my in-laws are leaving for Florida soon. Why? I never felt this way in other years. I kept thinking about my mother and how she will not be celebrating Christmas with us. I also experienced it while talking with my brother-in-law as he reminded me that God is in control our lives as we conversed about the way this year has unfolded.
I know that December will be filled with all types of these memories as the journey continues.
One of my favorite newer songs by Steven Curtis Chapman reminds me of the importance of remembering God’s promises.
Always one of my favorite Christian artists- Steven Curtis Chapman
I think that is why Thanksgiving continues to be one of my favorite holidays. Words like grateful, blessed, and thankful can be found posted in various public places. Store advertisements include the words, “Happy Thanksgiving”. You cannot avoid it.
It was definitely sad not to see my mother and my brother’s father-in-law at the table yesterday. It was only a year ago when they were commenting on the meal Chloe created! I felt the need to write a prayer for yesterday’s meal. Here it is:
Scripture references: Psalm 29:2 and 1 Thessalonians 5: 18
Dear Lord in heaven,
We praise you for your faithfulness, your love, and your gift to us of salvation. You are sovereign in all your ways and never change. Thank you for your goodness you have shown to use in 2019– our jobs, our education, our families, and your provision of health care for Phil and Marianne. Thank you for the celebration of their lives that pointed to You. We confess that sometimes we don’t want to thank you for this year. It was a year that was and continues to be tearful at moments. We miss Phil and Marianne deeply and yet we rejoice they are with you. But… it’s hard. Thank you for blessing us with laughter in the midst of it all– for the moment we laughed hysterically during funeral planning, for these funny Michigan phrases like Feel the Zeel and Smitten with the Mitten. Thank you for people who send flowers, cards, texts, emails, and food reminding us of your faithfulness. Thank you for memories of Marianne’s King peppermints scattered in various places and Phil’s reconstruction of furniture. The list could go on and on. Help us, Lord, to be more compassionate, more Christ-like, and always choose joy. Bless the food we are about to eat. IN YOUR MOST HOLY NAME, AMEN.
I love how my nephew incorporated my mother’s Christmas tree in his village scene. Of course, it had to include the Detroit Lions!
As the holidays draw closer, past memories seem to inhabit my mind. While cleaning the last little bit of the condo, I found myself thinking about my parents’ dresser, now located in a thrift shop. I recalled my mother standing in front of the mirror, putting on her clip-on earrings. I could hardly believe that the metal chairs on the patio were the same ones we used on the Fourth of July while eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. The condo, almost ready for the next inhabitants, seemed cold and lifeless. Today, my father seemed to be thinking about past memories just like me.
“What was the date when Mom passed away?” he asked. “September 9,” I answered. “It seems like a year ago,” he replied. I agreed with him. The conversation then veered to the actual events. He seemed to be replaying the last several months. When I provided the timeline of events, he was surprised. ” I don’t remember any of that,” he stated, as tears started forming in his eyes. Pictures of the events on my phone seemed surprising to him as well. As we continued scrolling through the photos, his grief seemed to escalate. Realizing that it was too much, I put the phone away. “Come on, Dad! Let’s go look at the Christmas trees around Royal Park!” I encouraged. After several attempts, he finally climbed into his wheelchair for a quick stroll around Royal Park. Their Christmas decorating is truly a sight for all to see. It was a temporary reprieve from sadness and a moment of happiness.
Here is my parents’ dresser now located in a thrift shop.It is so strange to think of these patio chairs where we ate Kentucky Fried Chicken on the 4th of July.
At times, the comparisons are so similar. I often marvel at the Dutch names found on streets, cemeteries, school lists, and cities. Living in an area where I don’t need to spell out every letter of my last name is refreshing! Even though I grew up around here, I find myself in unfamiliar areas at least once per week which is a fun challenge. However, I find myself wishing for moments when I can curl up in my West Lafayette home, stop paying on two homes, end the constant back and forth travel, and have a normal life. I often felt this way in the Netherlands, but it was a stronger feeling.
But there are differences. Our family is not really together. Mitch is here on the weekends, but he is mostly in West Lafayette during the week. Chloe is in Ireland, for a semester abroad. Caden is at Purdue and comes to Michigan when available. Corey and I are together, but it seems strange at times because I often feel like a single mother. This may change next semester when Mitch will be here for the winter months. We will be staying in Michigan until July of next year, longer than our Dutch adventure.
Despite the differences and similarities, I feel myself being stretched in amazing ways. Living in the Netherlands for almost 5 months made me more flexible in unknown situations. I find myself feeling the same way now when I enter unknown classrooms. I never quite know what curriculum I will be using, the order of the day, or sometimes where the bathrooms are located! Last week, we had a power outage at the rental. This provided another way to become flexible. How do you get out of the garage?
Amidst it all, God is still faithful. He knows the path and orchestrates our days. I marvel at Him, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He planned this Michigan adventure out. I need to trust in his goodness.
Before moving to Michigan, I joked with a friend about opening a business with the name of endlesscleaning.com. She asked me if I was serious. In some ways, I have opened that business, except for the fact that it’s non-profit. Since May, I have been cleaning out all kinds of areas: my classroom, parts of my basement, this rental, various medical rooms where my parents stayed, and the condo.
This past week, I returned to the condo for another cleaning. My dad remarked, “It seems like you are always cleaning it.” Hmm.. that is probably because it takes several cleanings to feel like it is finished. I started with decluttering, then clean #1 followed by several other deep cleans. The most recent cleaning filled me with great joy that most people would merely dismiss– the microwave. I wish I had taken a photo of the disgusting food particles clinging to the top and bottom, stuck there since an undetermined date. But— then came victory! Using a simple recipe of vinegar and water, the hardened particles became a mass of liquid, easy to wipe. I felt like doing cartwheels! Some particles still remain, so I will return for one more cleaning. In the meantime, however, I am celebrating!
The celebrating continues because we now have a renter for the condo. My father’s accumulating bills can be paid and one more item is checked off our list as this journey continues.
I also cleaned out their refrigerator. You wouldn’t want to see a picture of this before it was cleaned.
