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As Saturday, December 19 drew closer, I found myself feeling more and more excited to see my father, even through the window. I decided that we needed to bring our smallest Christmas tree to add to the festivities. My head brimmed with the possibilities of how to be creative despite the distance. Additionally, we brought gifts: a new water bottle and our Christmas card.

As we entered Waterford’s parking lot, I scanned the outside. What window would be used?

After receiving instructions from the greeter, we waited outside. Amanda, a nurse, came to chat. “He didn’t eat anything today, ” she shared. My mind went back to my mother who also quit eating at times. I tried to encourage Amanda. “How are you holding up?” Her simple answer of “okay” spoke volumes. How can these people continually watch the sadness every day?

As I peered through the window, I saw people I remembered when volunteering. I observed their changes and remembered the SAIDO sessions.

Finally, the nurse wheeled Dad up to the window. The interaction started with a series of charades as I pointed to the Christmas tree, took my mask off so he recognized me, and then used the phone to communicate. Unfortunately, he seemed confused and ended up falling asleep. After a mere 10 minutes, we packed up to head on our way.

While driving home, we ended up Facetiming which seemed to yield better results until the end. Using the Emojis always makes him laugh, but as the conversation continued, his tears dominated the conversation. ” I am so lonely, ” he cried. How can I answer? God is our refuge, I texted him. The piercing cries reminded me of the desperation felt by him and so many others who cannot interact with loved ones. How much longer? When will it end?

When dealing with young children, one often uses diversions to help ease challenging situations. Sometimes it is distracting with a toy or a sound. It often works. The same is true for my father.

I have finally been able to connect with my father via Facetime on a more consistent basis. The last time was quite comical. When he started complaining about his life, I was able to use silly emojis to distract him. It was quite effective and he stopped his grumbling to focus on the strange puppets. “Do you use those in school?” he asked.

Diversion tactics work with other people as well. A thanksgiving video filled with art and happy children reminds others of the blessings we enjoy. Yes, the pandemic is challenging, but God is faithful.

Another diversion tactic– the weather! Indiana’s warm weather brings joy and relief to so many.

The Thanksgiving holiday is another diversion tactic. It’s God saying to us- Look at what I have provided for you.

He is faithful. He is good.

It greets me every morning and welcomes me at the end of the day. A treasure filled with illustrations reminding me of God’s truths is my Bible.

The verse on the cover says it all: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.

Trusting in the Lord with all your heart means that I must trust that we made the right decision to send Corey to high school in another state. I need to be at rest with the fact that I will not be a part of any of the senior activities, although they may be limited during the pandemic anyway.

Even though I know that my father could pass away without a visit in such a long time, I must trust God’s ways. I need to understand that God’s ways are not my ways. If He chooses to take him before the pandemic is over, I must be able to trust that He knows the length of my father’s life. God directs my father’s paths, not me.

Trusting in the Lord with all your heart means that I must be patient in affliction and deal with a myriad of decisions that people do or do not like. I need to let things brush off my shoulders even though the pain is intense. I need to constantly remember the words, “The Lord is with you mighty warrior”.

Trusting in the Lord means that friends who I thought were friends may react in a way that feels like betrayal, but I need to trust that God has a plan for that situation. Despite my feelings of discouragement, God is using everything for His glory.

Trusting in the Lord with all your heart means that I must trust that He is in control of outcomes. These include but are not limited to COVID tests, biopsies of relatives and friends, a seventeen year old driving back and forth from Michigan amidst busy traffic, and the pandemic that never seems to end.

Trusting in the Lord with all your heart means that each day is a gift and not a challenge.

Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God” as the journey continues.

“I’m so lonely I could cry all day” were the only words in my father’s email. How do I respond when I am far away and no visitors are allowed?

Michigan’s virus rate is climbing which means there is no way Waterford will change their policy. I totally understand. One positive case could wipe out the entire population.

So, how can we help him?

Writing letters, emails, and Facetiming may help, but we are not with him all the time.

Sometimes I have these ideas of stealing him out of Waterford. It’s very crazy to think I could even pull something like that off since I cannot provide the same level of care for him at all, but it is definitely difficult to read his words. To be clear, I would definitely not do anything that rash. I just wish the virus would disappear so he can have regular visits.

I decided to do a little research and discovered this article: https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-07/coronavirus-pandemic-fuels-americas-loneliness-epidemic However, it doesn’t change anything I already know. People are lonely, especially seniors.

But what can I do about it?

Loneliness can describe a variety of people groups. This can include people who are seniors but also others. It’s definitely something to think about as holidays draw close. What about the military? What about the students without friends?

Our society is caught up with so many issues- the election, mask-wearing, but who is taking care of the lonely?

As October ends and November begins, this clock, a treasure from my parents’ condo, caught my eye for some reason. It had been resting on a prominent shelf, but it doesn’t work. For some reason, I feel like I need to keep it. It needs to be fixed and used instead of being a decoration.

As I think about time, I cannot believe that in 61 days we will be ending 2020. The past year, filled with ups and downs, will be a blessing to end. Loved ones buried, hard choices, and time that we would like to erase seems to characterize the year.

Would it be better to set the time at 11:59 PM and keep it broken as a reminder of 2019, a better year?

However, being stuck in time doesn’t sound too promising. God reminds us that his mercies are new every day. This is also true of years. His mercies are true every year. He is faithful. We just need to trust and remember that every day is a gift from Him.

It’s hard to believe that Chloe will be 22 years old tomorrow! Happy birthday, Chloe! We love you!

Senior Night– is it really possible that Corey is a high school senior already? Thankfully, Mitch was able to attend and walk him down the field, amid pouring rain and blustery winds. It’s hard to believe that he is really a high school senior.

Someone recently asked, “How did you make that decision to allow him to stay in Michigan while you live in Indiana?” Hmm… what would be the best answer to that question?

I have mulled over the answer for a while, and it comes back to what is best for Corey. I will always be thankful for the opportunity to enroll him at South Christian. When I look back at the decisions we made in the summer of 2019, I remember how we started in Lansing. Housing never worked in the MSU land of green and white. Grand Rapids seemed like a better option. When we finally ended up at South Christian and renting 1891, it finally became clear. When we determined that the best decision would be for him to return, it also seemed clear. He is in a good spot. While I wish I was also there with him, I know it’s best.

It came to me suddenly, naming a tree. Why not? I name my van, so why not a tree? The word Mimi was one my father used to address my mother. Apparently, my cousin, in his younger days, could not pronounce Marianne so Mimi was an easier alternative. The name stuck.

As I looked at the tree today, I thought about this blog and how grateful I am for the memories. It’s easy to forget events of my time in Michigan. How easy to forget the gift of being able to help my father during his darkest hours, my sister-in-law during her grief of losing her father, and also my cousins when they lost my aunt. I will always be grateful.

Hearing the news about positive COVID-19 tests is devastating in so many ways, but it hits home when two dear people are affected. One week, my father-in-law headed for the hospital and now my mother-in-law has been admitted.

This is when COVID hurts and angers. People fight over mask wearing and restrictions, but for what reason?

I have always felt a huge blessing for my in-laws. They support their family members in so many ways. Their dedication to each other is admirable and an example for others.

COVID-19- when will it end?