Author: chelleren

“I’m so lonely I could cry all day” were the only words in my father’s email. How do I respond when I am far away and no visitors are allowed?

Michigan’s virus rate is climbing which means there is no way Waterford will change their policy. I totally understand. One positive case could wipe out the entire population.

So, how can we help him?

Writing letters, emails, and Facetiming may help, but we are not with him all the time.

Sometimes I have these ideas of stealing him out of Waterford. It’s very crazy to think I could even pull something like that off since I cannot provide the same level of care for him at all, but it is definitely difficult to read his words. To be clear, I would definitely not do anything that rash. I just wish the virus would disappear so he can have regular visits.

I decided to do a little research and discovered this article: https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-07/coronavirus-pandemic-fuels-americas-loneliness-epidemic However, it doesn’t change anything I already know. People are lonely, especially seniors.

But what can I do about it?

Loneliness can describe a variety of people groups. This can include people who are seniors but also others. It’s definitely something to think about as holidays draw close. What about the military? What about the students without friends?

Our society is caught up with so many issues- the election, mask-wearing, but who is taking care of the lonely?

As October ends and November begins, this clock, a treasure from my parents’ condo, caught my eye for some reason. It had been resting on a prominent shelf, but it doesn’t work. For some reason, I feel like I need to keep it. It needs to be fixed and used instead of being a decoration.

As I think about time, I cannot believe that in 61 days we will be ending 2020. The past year, filled with ups and downs, will be a blessing to end. Loved ones buried, hard choices, and time that we would like to erase seems to characterize the year.

Would it be better to set the time at 11:59 PM and keep it broken as a reminder of 2019, a better year?

However, being stuck in time doesn’t sound too promising. God reminds us that his mercies are new every day. This is also true of years. His mercies are true every year. He is faithful. We just need to trust and remember that every day is a gift from Him.

It’s hard to believe that Chloe will be 22 years old tomorrow! Happy birthday, Chloe! We love you!

Senior Night– is it really possible that Corey is a high school senior already? Thankfully, Mitch was able to attend and walk him down the field, amid pouring rain and blustery winds. It’s hard to believe that he is really a high school senior.

Someone recently asked, “How did you make that decision to allow him to stay in Michigan while you live in Indiana?” Hmm… what would be the best answer to that question?

I have mulled over the answer for a while, and it comes back to what is best for Corey. I will always be thankful for the opportunity to enroll him at South Christian. When I look back at the decisions we made in the summer of 2019, I remember how we started in Lansing. Housing never worked in the MSU land of green and white. Grand Rapids seemed like a better option. When we finally ended up at South Christian and renting 1891, it finally became clear. When we determined that the best decision would be for him to return, it also seemed clear. He is in a good spot. While I wish I was also there with him, I know it’s best.

It came to me suddenly, naming a tree. Why not? I name my van, so why not a tree? The word Mimi was one my father used to address my mother. Apparently, my cousin, in his younger days, could not pronounce Marianne so Mimi was an easier alternative. The name stuck.

As I looked at the tree today, I thought about this blog and how grateful I am for the memories. It’s easy to forget events of my time in Michigan. How easy to forget the gift of being able to help my father during his darkest hours, my sister-in-law during her grief of losing her father, and also my cousins when they lost my aunt. I will always be grateful.

Hearing the news about positive COVID-19 tests is devastating in so many ways, but it hits home when two dear people are affected. One week, my father-in-law headed for the hospital and now my mother-in-law has been admitted.

This is when COVID hurts and angers. People fight over mask wearing and restrictions, but for what reason?

I have always felt a huge blessing for my in-laws. They support their family members in so many ways. Their dedication to each other is admirable and an example for others.

COVID-19- when will it end?

September 9 came and left like a thief in the night. My sister-in-law texted. My brother sent a picture of my mother. My cousin sent a text. A very loving person placed a bag of goodies on my desk.

I could not think of anything to do in my mom’s memory, so I ended up taking Hope’s advice: eat a Dove chocolate.

My mother always had a bag of Dove chocolates in the refrigerator. She always chose the same flavor- dark chocolate without additional flavors.

On Sunday afternoons, after several hours of quiet reading in the sunroom, she would gather a little plate of chocolates and peanuts for anyone who wanted them. I doubt that other families engage in this Sunday afternoon tradition. In fact, I don’t do this and doubt my brother does.

This coming week would be my mother’s birthday. Will I do anything on her day? One thing I thought about was donating money in her name. One of her favorite places to donate was Elim Christian School. https://www.elimcs.org/hope-packs/ She always had a special place in her heart for people with special needs. Interestingly, her burial site is near a young girl who dealt with a severe handicap most of her life. My mother always spoke lovingly of dear Gabi, a member of her church.

What do other people do in honor of someone’s birthday who has passed away?

I wonder if my father will remember that it’s her birthday. I keep receiving texts from him. Unfortunately, I could not visit him last weekend due to COVID. However, I keep telling him SOON!

And then– what about birthday celebrations in heaven? Do people celebrate birthdays in heaven?

It’s strange thinking back to a year ago when Mom was at the end of her life. Flashbacks include Chloe crying at Waterford as she said her good byes before leaving for Dublin, Hope spoon-feeding Mom, and then the hospice nurse saying that the time was short, but we weren’t sure. I remember the 1 AM phone call and how I somehow drove the dark M-6 to meet the Hospice Team. ” Would you like her to be bathed in lavender?” they asked.

And then… my father’s reaction. I was so glad that I was the one to tell him rather than the nurses, but his deep cries and pain will never be forgotten. He always tells us that he doesn’t remember any of it. He was in shock and denial.

What do people do on the anniversary of someone’s passing? Do they visit the cemetery plot? Do they have a special meal in memory?

I have been trying to think of something and all I can think about is how my mother always told me to write a book. While in MI, I created a children’s book titled Smitten with the Mitten. It’s a good way to reflect and remember.