A New Way to Celebrate Mom’s Birthday?

Two years ago, I compiled a list of activities to remember my mother during her birthday month.

1. Write an encouraging letter to someone – done
2. Donate to Elim Christian Services, an organization that helps those with special needs- done
3. Donate to Purdue Campus House, the church where her granddaughter attends- done
4. Donate blood- done
5. Work on my book, Pandemic Principal- need to do
6. Give away items I don’t need– done
7. Send a box of goodies to her other grandchildren away at college. not done
8. Write a note to her sister, Janie. She lives by herself. not done
9. Read a book by Beverly Lewis, one of her favorite authors. not done
10. Eat Kentucky Fried Chicken. This was really one of her favorites. done
11. Eat Dove Chocolate (s). done repeatedly
12. Order some Dutch peppermints for our family. We actually passed these out at her funeral. done repeatedly

At the beginning of September, I reread, updated, and spent time thinking about other ways to celebrate. Horseback riding never made the list, but my father’s perspective is different.

Holding true to her word, Maddie, his rec therapist, arranged a horse riding experience for my 91-year-old father. Why? He told her it was the one thing he still wanted to do while on earth. The scheduled date of this event coincided with my mother’s birthday.

While driving up to Michigan to witness this epic event, we wondered, ” Is this really going to happen? How? Would he be sleeping through it like he has done while swimming?” Low expectations, an attitude of gratitude, minimalistic thinking— I repeated these phrases as we entered Waterford.

“Are you excited?” I asked as we greeted him in his favorite spot, the courtyard.

“No, I’m sleepy, ” he answered.

” It will be fun!” I encouraged.

“Whatever you say,” was his lackluster reply. Mitch showed him pictures of bucking bronchos, but it confused him while we laughed.

After loading him in my brother’s vehicle and providing a BOOST energy drink, we drove forty minutes to the destination: an equestrian center for therapeutic riding. The sunny day filled us with excitement as we entered the building. We hoped the BOOST would provide the necessary energy.

As we wheeled him into the stables, he briefly awoke. We spent a few moments admiring the horse. He didn’t seem impressed.

The slow process of lifting him on the saddle prompted him to ask, ” Why are you doing this to me?” “You wanted to do this, ” we answered. ” No, I didn’t!” he emphasized. We looked at each other in dismay but then urged him onward. “Only 5 steps, Dad! You can do it!”

He grunted a reply of ” Ow” which made me pause. Was this really a good idea? ” My back hurts! Why are you doing this to me?” he repeated. We looked at each other again.

Despite his obvious displeasure, the patient horse slowly walked, with my father on the saddle, the minimum steps into the arena.

“He did it!” we smiled, triumphantly. Waterford staff took a slew of photos, and then it was over.

Taking a step back, we evaluated the experience. Was it worth it? Will he remember it? Will he be in pain on Monday? I made a mental note to phone Waterford in the coming week.

“We will show him the pictures,” the staff responded. “Good conversation starters, ” added another. We repeatedly thanked them, still in disbelief that it actually happened.

As we parted ways, the instructor chimed in with his thoughts. ” I hope I can ride a horse at 91.”

We ended the day with my brother and my sister-in-law taking my father back to Waterford. It was a memorable way to remember my mother’s birthday and was yet another way we appreciate Waterford staff.