A Possible Move

Scrolling back through my photos taken this past year seems surreal. The memories and events seem distant and vague. Is it really over? Does it have to be? I often stop my scrolling when I come across the pictures of my mother at Waterford, another distant yet real memory.

The psychology test results came back yesterday: my father has now been classified with moderate dementia. According to the website, https://www.dementia.com/symptoms.html, the symptoms include the following:

Moderate or Mid-Stage dementia 

As dementia progresses, the changes become more marked and disabling. 

People with dementia slowly move from forgetfulness into confusion. The person lives more and more in his/her own, dreamlike world in which present and past blend together and in which the rules and structures of the ‘old world’ – what is right, what is important – lose importance. At this stage people with dementia increasingly see themselves not as confused in a logical environment, but as oriented in a very unfamiliar environment. During the moderate phase of dementia, the person may: 

Be increasingly forgetful of recent events. Memory for the distant past seems better, but some details may be forgotten or confused – Yes, I totally see this.

Repeat the same question or phrase over and over- Yes.

Be confused regarding time and place- Sometimes

Become lost if away from familiar surroundings- He has remarked how he doesn’t recognize certain areas.

Forget names of family or friends- I haven’t observed this in regards to family, but he did forget Ellsworth’s name.

Fail to recognize people or confuse them with others Not yet

Forget saucepans and kettles on the stove. May leave gas unlit– not applicable

Wander around streets, perhaps at night, sometimes becoming lost- I hope he doesn’t wander at Royal Park!

Behave inappropriately – for example, going outdoors in their nightwear- Yes

See or hear things that are not there (hallucinations)- Yes

Become very repetitive- Yes

Be neglectful of hygiene or eating- Yes, definitely

Become angry, upset or distressed through frustration- Yes

Some people at this stage become very easily upset, angry or aggressive, perhaps owing to frustration, or they may become overly attached to a certain person. possibly

The next step is to place my father on the Waterford waiting list. It will take some time because of COVID-19. I don’t know if they are even taking new patients during these uncertain times. Transferring patients from one facility to another would present certain risks. But could it be that last summer will be repeating itself? Will we be moving my father out of Royal Park?

Thinking about making a permanent move out of Royal Park fills me with sadness, but it is inevitable. I always knew this was coming, but I denied it. So many memories! So many visits! So many friends! It also would mean that I would need to clean out my father’s room, the one we spent so long on decorating and making it seem cozy.

On the other hand, I know and love Waterford, a wonderful place filled with dedicated staff.

Just like the lock-down, I need to wait. Wait on the Lord and His perfect timing.

•