Taking a risk

I had my doubts, but taking a risk seemed worthwhile. After all, it couldn’t hurt anything. If anything, it would make his life better, right? My father’s cochlear implant took place last Wednesday. His post- surgery recovery has been challenging. He is quite nauseated at times and lacks energy.

Today was a hard day. ” I feel that the end is near,” he told me. ” Pray for me”, he said, causing my eyes to blur with tears. “Don’t say that, Dad!” I pled. “I’m so tired, ” he kept saying. The aide reassured me that elderly people often experience tired spells, but why do I feel that my father knows?

The afternoon scene reminded me of my mother’s last days. He isn’t eating, so I sat at the dinner table, urging him to take a bite. My efforts were useless, so I wheeled him back to his room where he hobbled to his recliner. The aide told me that mobility is more challenging. I remembered the nurse’s words, “If he is not able to move, we will not be able to take care of him here and he will need to move to a skilled nursing home.”

Ellsworth, his faithful friend, fell on Monday and is now in the hospital. After visiting my father, I decided to stop by for a visit. Seeing him dressed in a hospital gown caused my emotions to overflow. I stepped outside, trying to control them. Ellsworth’s son, Dave, gave me a tissue box and I somehow managed to walk back into the room where we spent time visiting. I didn’t stay long.

Twelve days remain of the long term sub position. What will those twelve days bring? Will the school need a sub for the sub because I need to take care of my father? Can I make it through parent- teacher conferences? Will we regret the decision of a cochlear implant?? Time will tell as the journey continues.