Christmas memories

I really try not to cry in public or even in front of my family members. When I watch a sad movie and Mitch is in the room, I hurriedly walk into the bathroom, turn on the sink faucet, and allow the sound of water to drown out my tears.

I often rationalize sad moments. “It was for the best” I conclude and move on to whatever task is at hand. I didn’t cry at high school graduation. It seemed pointless.

But it’s different this year.

When the pastor at the church we are attending announced that another spot of cancer had been discovered on his body, I found the tears starting to flow. I realized later that it caused a big splotch of mascara underneath my eye. Those with whom I conversed must have noticed the black mass, but they were too polite to comment.

Wrapping presents for family members reminded me that I would not wrap a present for my mother. The tears flowed causing wet splotches on some of the paper.

Decorating our Christmas tree with various ornaments reminded me of my parents’ tree cluttered with every type of ornament you can imagine.

Attending my great-niece’s church program and Corey’s Christmas concert reminded me of how my mother always saved any program announcement. She would collect them and then show them to me. One program she particularly enjoyed was my niece’s ballet recital. “Beautiful” were her words and she would shake her head in wonder at how a program would be choreographed to share a story. The mission of the ballet program is “preparing the dancer in body and spirit to glorify God through artistic excellence”. https://turningpointedance.org.

Other memories include certain gifts. My brother always created a photo calendar for my parents. He included various pictures taken throughout the year. This treasured calendar was prominently displayed and admired. I remember Chloe, a thoughtful gift giver, telling me that I should purchase a sweat suit for my mother. It proved to be a very comfortable for my mother after she broke her femur this past summer.

Memories– precious and emotional– remind me to embrace the moments… as the journey continues.