Trust

The word trust evokes powerful images. These images include me driving up from Indiana behind Corey, a newly licensed driver. It includes me watching out the window, praying that he will make it safely to school in blizzard-like weather conditions. It includes listening to stories from my husband, traveling in remote places of the world that include Niger and Senegal. Trusting in God’s provision means that I need to feel at peace with a daughter living in another country, traveling to various destinations. It also means that I must believe that my father’s health is in God’s hands and not mine. Trust– difficult and challenging.

Trusting in the Lord’s timing means that I must believe that His ways are not my ways. At yesterday’s Sunday dinner, my father slept through most of the meal and ended up snoozing for several hours on our bed. We were puzzled by his weariness and wondered if it was related to his mobility. My sister-in-law’s comments yesterday, “We will not plan one more funeral. I refuse to!”, made me pause and remind myself that we don’t get to choose that route. I don’t get to decide how my father’s life will continue. Will he re-energize after a change in his medications? Will he stay at Royal Park or have to move to another facility that offers more care? What will the rest of this Michigan journey look like?

Trusting definitely takes faith. I was reminded of this again when I starting thinking about this year. I could either focus my energies on worrying about the year or remembering the countless blessings. It is definitely more peaceful to remember the blessings– the blessing of being able to live in Michigan to help my father, the blessing of being able to have a family dinner yesterday which included my father and my brother’s mom-in-law, the blessing of substitute teaching in a different state, and the blessing of three children who openly confess that Jesus is Savior and Lord. But… remembering these blessings takes focus and persistence. I can easily start thinking of the “what ifs” and head down a dark route.

As the journey continues, the words to Steven Curtis Chapman’s song remind me– remember.

Well, I’ve been looking back over my shoulder
Retracing every step trying to unforget
And I see the mountaintops I’ve journeyed over
And I see the valleys deep where I crawled on my hands and knees
Pages and memories filled with joy and stained with tears
They call my name and if I listen, I can hear them saying

Remember the way He led you up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way He carried you through the deepest dark
Remember His promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where you’ve been and where you’re going
And remember to remember
Remember, remember

And now I’m looking out at the road that’s waiting
But my eyes can only see so far out ahead of me
As sure as the sun will shine there’ll be more mountains I will climb
And more deep dark shadowlands where desperate faith is all I have
Until I’m home, I’m resting all my hope and trust
In the only One whose name is: God with us

Remember the way He led us up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way He carried us through the deepest dark
Remember His promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where we’ve been and where we’re going
And remember to remember

Remember the day is coming when He’s going to wipe the tears away
He’ll look in our eyes and say
Remember the way I led you off the mountain
Remember the way I carried you, ohh

Remember the way I led you up to the top of the highest mountain
Remember the way I carried you through the deepest dark
Remember my promises for every step on the road ahead
Look where you’ve been and where you’re going
Look where we’ve been and where we’re going
And remember to remember

Oh remember to remember
Oh remember to remember
Oh remember to remember

Source: LyricFindSongwriters: Steven ChapmanRemember to Remember lyrics © BMG Rights Management