Semantics

Certain words have more appeal than others. One of my favorites, flummoxed, is one I often use on my high school nephew. ” Oh no. More SAT words”, he will respond. I try to make it a point to use it on him, just to get a reaction.

Some phrases definitely catch attention more than others as well. Certain Michigan phrases like “smitten with the mitten” and “feel the Zeel” indicate the love Michiganders have for the state.

However, I think the word hospice is in a league all of its own. It usually generates the same response with most: emotion, averted eyes, and sympathetic words. It signifies an end for many, even though medical professionals will point out that it doesn’t always mean that the end is near. ” I have seen many live 1-2 years longer when hospice is called”, they insist. I have my doubts.

My brother’s words, “They recommended hospice” caused me to openly weep. These unexpected words, shared a few weeks ago, are ones I can barely utter. I think I have been denying reality. Is my mother really at the end of her life?

It’s difficult not to think back to July 10, when she fell at Royal Park. What if I had gone back to check on her instead of continuing my decluttering project in their condo? Would she and my father still be at Royal Park? She never wanted to use her walker. Should we have done a better job of convincing her? The staff at Royal Park described the way she would hang on to my father instead of using a walker, but I just nodded my head and agreed.

I don’t really know how hospice works and will find out on Thursday when we meet with the representatives. Until that time, we wait and wonder as the journey continues.